sitting on the bed trying to set up a video call with…
everything is fine.
trying not to wake up the roommate. Months have passed since you have seen her in person and and still trying to figure out what to say. Like a conversation ever goes as planned. call goes through and have connection.
Hi.
Hey.
the time spent here has changed how others might see, and it shows with the expressions being displayed.
still sitting. laughing. uncertain how things will be once he gets back home, whenever that may be.
everything is fine.
Did you hear that?
it’s an everyday thing here now and it was a little nerve-racking a first but then begin begin to get used to hearing it because it happens so often. sometimes once, twice, this time…..too many.
everything is fine.
I heard those.
the roommate awakes. still sitting, but this time it gets louder and louder as it inches closer. yells from outside means that something is not right so…
I’ll be back.
runs towards the bunker as instructed to do if this were to happen. standing under a bunker as debris hits the roof. hands shaking, palms sweaty, head bobbing, heart racing.
everything will be fine. everything will be fine.
The the ringing and the whistles and the noise from the impacts stop stop and now there is silence it’s calming to the ears and it can be relaxing at times like these waiting outside under the bunker asking if there will be any more it ends for now.
everything will be fine.
Did you hear all of that?
Yes…
Sorry to put you through that.
Are you ok?
never having this feeling before, the words weren’t getting any easier to say so the conversation had to come to an end.
everything is fine.
sitting on the bed again and realizing that it was because he died days prior to this act of terrorism. it was expected but it was not knowing when…that was the issue. prepared and trained for this. acting and pretending it will happen is different than it actually happening.
everything is fine.
a day off was meant for relaxation and rest but today didn’t start that way. now it was more of preparing and bracing for another attack if any were to happen again. sometimes once, twice, this time…too many.
everything is fine.
This Camera Eye tells the story of when I was under a heavy mortar attack while deployed in Iraq three years ago. It was a couple days after Osama Bin Laden was killed. I was on a video call with my friend and she sat through the whole attack. Few people were hurt and no one died.
Your layout for this camera eye is great. I like how you did the conversation pieces, one on one side of the page and the other on the opposite end, showing how far apart you two were. Also the repetition of "everything is fine" has a big impact on the piece. It shows that within this story and just everyday life over there you just had to deal with what was thrown at you. I have known several family members and friends that were over there at various times, but none of them tell what specific thoughts were going through their minds like this. I think your camera eye shows a lot of different emotions that were not explicitly told. It also has images and thoughts that readers will not fully understand because we were not there, which think some of Dos Passos camera eyes do.
ReplyDeleteEric,
ReplyDeleteYour use of space and of different fonts were nice touches here. Setting dialogue off with italics clarifies it amongst the other text, as does giving it its own lines. The use of both sides of the window for dialogue---yours on the left and hers on the right---helped keep my eyes moving literally from either side of the conversation. In this way, the dialogue somewhat frames the action of the camera eye. You also use space well to help speed up and slow down our reading, such as "it ends for now," which really helps us get an impression of how you are experiencing this event. As Heather has written, your repetition of "everything is fine" is a strong part of this camera eye, and I come away wondering whether this is observation, self-assurance, or disbelief---but the fact that I DON"T KNOW is powerful. Indeed, the statement is able to take on multiple interpretations. Good work!