Screaming to the sound of the theme. Fighting the
urge to turn it up.
Bouncing up and down in the lap of a knight in
shining armor.
Feeling goose bumps run up the leg like worker ants.
At the twist of the hair set in an unbreakable trance. “Hands up, police”
locking up the first criminal. Continued by the popping of fried chicken, the
smell of baked potatoes, and the sound of metal on metal scraping.
“You sank my battleship” sinking my destroyer. Screaming
at the loss of the game. Screaming, screaming, after screaming. Stuck in a
trance.
Depression hits at any distraction. Depression
remains in the disturbance of the trance.
“You have the right to remain silent. If you do say
anything, what you say can be used against you in a court of law.” You are
innocent until proven guilty. Whiskers comb tangled locks as we move onward.Dinner
is ready is the depression at hand. Screaming, Screaming, silence.
“Bless...our...And…our...gifts…we...About…revieve…our…hands…though…Christ…Lord...
Amen”
The world stops and depression remains. Yearning for
relief as depression deepens.Sputtering out the words that strip a human from
their childhood. Carpet burning to paradise of the closing prison cell bars. Finally
trance.
A moment so perfect, that the twin towers could
fall, bombs could be dropped, nothing could not ruin that perfected moment.
Except a wet rough tongue on the cheek.
The comforting whispers in the background from both
a male and female voice, the clanking of pots and pans. “Hands up, Police” The
sound of two bickering boys. “You are charged with the possession of 2 grams of
cocaine” The light smell of chicken, smashed potatoes, and green beans cause the
thumping of two feet to the ground.
Depression is reborn at bath time. Fighting,
fighting, and more fighting. Until the battle has won.
Looser sleeps with depression.
This camera eye begins with me as a little girl who would sit with her dad at night to watch the show COPS between daycare and dinner. At the beginning in just happy to be with my dad but as the story progresses I become more independent as I watch TV alone after dinner. Then with the final loss of the night is bath time which meant when I was a kid that TV time was over. I decided to highlight a typically night when I was a child because as you get older life doesn't get this simple anymore.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your camera eye and how it portrayed a normal night with your family as a child. At first I was confused on what this represented, I felt that it represented an event that happened in your life but as I kept reading I got the sense of the television show and was reassured when I read your paragraph at the bottom of your camera eye. I felt like the multiple use of depression and screaming really helped give detail to this. I also liked how in the middle of this you used a dinner prayer to represent that it was time to eat.
A lot of people can relate to your camera eye. I know when I was younger I was able to sit down and watch TV with my parents and now it just isn’t that easy to do anymore. Everyone is busy and we all have our lives to live. I liked the simplicity overall on how it was just a regular average night in your household. It is the little things that help mold us to what we are today and it seems that the nights like these made who you are today. You had a very well camera eye and brought it out to make me feel like I was there too.
ReplyDeleteMelissa,
ReplyDeleteYour camera eye includes a lot of different senses, images, and events. They often change quickly without transition, but this is a more authentic representation of how we often remember events---scattered fragments strung together. Your image of goosebumps moving along your leg like worker ants is very specific, as is the tactile experience of feeling whiskers in your hair while being held. Specific details like these make your camera eye feel very authentic; they are specific to you, but tangible to readers. One of my favorite moments of dialogue is how you incorporated the dinner prayer, which reads like a child who is just trying to get through the prayer and move on to eating, or like someone going through the motions of prayer. Good writing!