standing in the back standing still standing
head down legs crossed eyes closed fists clenched hot wind blowing against my stomach breathing hard a haze of hairspray ready to go waiting behind a wall of a thick stained red
velvet curtain a sea of bows
standing beside my
comrades all in red and black heart
pounding and people screaming music blaring and a diminutive man grey hair
black suit front and center microphone in hand announcing through static what
to do and hearing my call through the echo
knowing its time breathe
breathe breathe don’t forget to breathe
walking along side teammates
all dressed the same true friends bright lights sparkles blue floor beneath my polished white shoes fixed smiles
jumping up and down while
trying not to tremble so I stop remaining still until the deafening music
starts
it’s time breathe
going through what has
been done one hundred times before it’s
body memory going from place to place
following the glare of
white shoes because they seem to know exactly what to do and I stand by three
others and jump into the security of their hands and go into the air hitting my
marks like always and coming down safe
breathe
running cross the floor
alternating between my rough hands meeting the vast blue mat and my white shoes
touching it
must keep going knowing
exactly what to do from here breathe positioned front and center and dancing to
the eight count of the music one two
three four five six seven eight body
moving confidently
one two three four five six seven eight
loud noise ends and all
fall to the fibrous floor arms
wrapped around me hugging me patting me the sweet sweet sound of thunderous
applause
rushing back through the
slightly tattered velvet curtains passing the microphone man breathe
nerves settled breathe
satisfied breathe
well done breathe
there is nothing left to
do our work is over we stand victorious
fusion breathe
My Camera Eye represented my thoughts and feelings before
competition in my first Cheerleading Nationals. This Cheerleading Nationals
took place in Florida. I had a mixed emotions running through my head before,
after, and during my performance, and I tried to portray that through my Camera
Eye.
I really liked your repetition of “breathe “and the visual images that you described. You really told a story that portrayed your feelings at the time to the reader. The spacing with all the words breathe was also helpful. It was like you were taking those deep breaths as you were writing. The spacing also showed how important the breaths were. If you did not have so many of them spaced throughout the camera eye I do not think you would have portrayed how anxious and nerve racking the event way. In addition I think it showed how prepared you were. A lot of times people forget to breathe and then mistakes happen, but with the breathes came a sense being calm and I think it helps portray that everything went well with the cheerleading competition. I've been to some dance competitions with my sister, so I have seen both sides of these competitions and I think you did a great job showing what goes on that the audience does not see.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed how in your descriptions you were very vague allowing the reader to imagine what was happening. Although if you don't read closely then you could miss the story you were telling. I used to play volleyball in high school and this moment in time is so short and sometimes hard to remember so I liked how you were able to hold on to it and recreate it in words so vividly. I also liked how your repeated the words breathe because you highlighted that in a moment like this you had to force yourself do such a natural thing. In the camera eye you highlighted how you would count the steps out in your head which is interesting because for any performance that I have even done especially piano recitals that counting would help keep you on beat but also as a way to keep moving through the performance. Job Well Done!
ReplyDeleteI definitely felt the tension and nervousness that you portrayed in the text. One thing that stood out was the word “breathe” as you dispersed it throughout your camera eye. The use of the 8-count as you described your movements helped set a visualization of your routine which helped break what exactly was going on. I thought it was a dancing routine at first, but after reading that it was taking place on a blue mat then it was either gymnastics or something else, in this instance, it was your cheerleading event. Another thing that stood out is that you reference the noise level from the music, which can be hard to visualize since it is sound, but you made it work. Overall, very good display of emotions and text that brought out the visuals that are meant for a camera eye.
ReplyDelete